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Live Tweeting: 30 Day Shred – Level 1

September 13, 2011

Oh my goodness.

I’m 80% sure I’m about to die.

After 10 days of the 30 Day Shred – Level 1, I was feeling pretty badass.  Then…. Level 2. I’m floored with the difference between the two.  As I mentioned, I’m shredding for the wedding (of my cousin)  so it’s a pretty big deal.

Deep breaths. (click for source)

I’ve been waiting to write this post since Day 1, Level 1.  Every day that I meet with my girls, Jillian, Anita, and Natalie, I have a little conversation. Sure, it’s mostly one sided. But I wanted to share it with you all. Since the fun times at the Healthy Living Summit, when I realized the joy of live tweeting from a conference, I’ve thought about how I could share that fun with each person that reads my blog.  Here’s my chance.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

Live Tweeting: 30 Day Shred – Level 1

The cast?

Jillian: Mistress of Shedding

Twitter Handle: Jshred

“Take It Easy” Anita

Twitter handle: EasyA

“Billy Badass” Natalie

Twitter handle: NatDawg

Jordan “Can these be my handweights?” Price

Twitter handle: foodsweatnbeers

Let us begin:

foodsweatnbeers: oh, neat, ok, we’re just strolling in here, all relaxed. This shouldn’t be too bad.

foodsweatnbeers: Hey Jillian, thanks for introducing yourself….

foodsweatnbeers: I hate that she calls these women “my two best girls.” I’m already sick of her voice.

Jshred: Well, they are my best girls.  AREN’T YOU, LADIES?

Natdawg: Yeah, J. We’re your best girls.

EasyA: #terrrified

foodsweatnbeers: I’m probably tough enough to follow @Natdawg. I got this. Warmup time!

Jshred: Big Movement. Don’t be static.

EasyA: I’d like to take this time to let everyone know that I will spend the next 20 mins flexing my abs.

Flexing is FUN! (click for source)

foodsweatnbeers: Great. Thanks, Anita.

EasyA: I’ll also be more flexible than you, Jillian, and Natalie. K?

foodsweatnbeers: w/e. I’m trying to windmill over here.

Jshred: I just don’t want anyone to get injured. That’s why we’ll be doing infinite jumping jacks.

foodsweatnbeers: sure. that makes sense. you’re approximately a doctor.  Hip circles always remind me of spongebob.

Bring it arounnnnnd town. (click for source)

Jshred: SHUT UP AND JUMP JACKS WITH ME!

foodsweatnbeers: oh no. Pushups. Just try to do at least 8 with Natalie.

EasyA: What’s that supposed to mean?

NatDawg: Get on my level.

foodsweatnbeers: I’m pretty sure I could squat forever. Those pushups were tough but I think I feel good about this.

NatDawg: Well, if you’re so tough: Get. On. My. Level. Literally.

foodsweatnbeers: Can’t squat that low. Bad knees. #sorryimnotsorry

Jshred: pushup time, b*tches.

foodsweatnbeers: (after 2 toe pushups) I HAVE NO ARMS! THEY’RE FALLING OFF RIGHT NOW!

JShred: Just don’t phone this in, Jordan.

foodsweatnbeers: Wait. Was that an option? Is there a number I can call?

EasyA: Squats are fun when you don’t do them!

foodsweatnbeers: 2 minutes of cardio? I do BodyAttack on the regular. What is this, a joke?

(after 30 more jumping jacks and half a minute of jump rope)

foodsweatnbeers: What was I thinking?! I HAVE NO FITNESS! Hey, @NatDawg, have you ever really jumproped in your life?

NatDawg: Nope. I just assume that it requires you to swing your arms around uncontrollably, right?

Is this jumproping?

foodsweatnbeers: #panting

Jshred: (Some sort of inspiration BS. At this point, I’ve stopped listening.)

foodsweatnbeers: Ab time. Basic crunches. Woo!

EasyA: HEY! Everyone! Come see how good I look!! Do you like my ribs?

foodsweatnbeers: (under my breath) Definitely not.

NatDawg: Some of us are focusing on exercise, not belly baring shirts, Anita.

EasyA: Wait. So you don’t like my ribs?

JShred: Circuit 2! Grab those weights!

foodsweatnbeers: Oooh neat, a row. so glad this isn’t a pushup.

JShred: What I really like is that no one is phoning this in.

foodsweatnbeers: You’re saying it again. #nonsensicalphrases

Jshred: I’d like everyone to look at how tough Natalie is. She goes deep and lunges hard. AIM TO BE @NATDAWG!

foodsweatnbeers: Hey! @NatDawg! I SAW THAT!! BUSTED!

****REAL TALK: Everyone, in circuit two, after Jillian just spends a minute bragging about her prodigy, Natalie, they pan over to Anita. Natalie takes this time to NOT LUNGE! When I saw this, I had a rage blackout. 

I WILL SWORD YOU RIGHT IN THE BODY!

NatDawg, you’re just as weak as the rest of us.****

foodsweatnbeers: @EasyA, are you flexing right now?

EasyA: (through gritted teeth) No….. er… my abs always look like this.

foodsweatnbeers: oh. Must be nice.

NatDawg: When I grin like this, do I look like a possessed lunatic?

Demon or workout inspiration? Now you don’t have to choose.

All: No… definitely not. It’s…. cute. #sarcasm

foodsweatnbeers: (mentally) I wonder what kinds of faces Jillian makes when she’s having sex. If they’re anything like this…. #poorsexpartners

You like that? (click for source)

Jshred: Are you thinking and not doing butt kicks?!

foodsweatnbeers: No, ma’am. (Kicks butt, NatDawg style). Oooh, punching! This is kind of like BodyCombat!

JShred: No, no, this is a completely original exercise I made up.

EasyA: Hey! All! It’s Ab-time! Check out these ribs!!

NatDawg: I’m so glad I wore a shirt.

EasyA: I accidentally forgot mine.

foodsweatnbeers: Yeah, right. #accidentally?

JShred: Circuit 3 time! FOCUS!

foodsweatnbeers: I love Chest Flies so much.

JShred: Little do you know what I’ve got in store for you.

foodsweatnbeers: OH MY GOD! Anterior raises will be the end of me…. Tell my mother I love her, I’m pretty sure I’m dying.

It’s been real, Mom.

NatDawg: Sometimes, when I’m taking a nap, I wake up and I’m sleep-side lunging with anterior raises.

foodsweatnbeers: Ok, Natalie, we get it. You’re in shape.

NatDawg: What? Oh, sorry, I was looking at my delts in the mirror.

Yeah.

foodsweatnbeers: NM.

JShred: You guys like jumping jacks, right?

foodsweatnbeers: Oooh! yeah! My calves are craving some further abuse!

EasyA: When I get in a fight, I’ll know how to punch from this video!

NatDawg: If that poor girl ever got in a fight, she’d snap like a twig.

EasyA: Jump ropes are fun!

foodsweatnbeers: #eyeroll

JShred: Bicycle crunches are named that by their inventor, William James Bicycle Esq.

foodsweatnbeers: Do you have a citation for that fact?

JShred: er…. quick! Look at @EasyA’s ribs!

Looking good, Anita! (click for source)

foodsweatnbeers: Ugh, whatever.

At this point, I normally push through those damn bicycle crunches, stretch on my own, and curse Anita for being a silly looking ninny.

Hope you enjoyed joining me for a quality workout.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an exorcism to attend.

I will eat your heart.

foodsweatnbeers:

30 Comments leave one →
  1. Alexandra DeSiato permalink
    September 13, 2011 2:18 pm

    Jordan,
    You are hilarious. :)

  2. September 13, 2011 2:29 pm

    Truth: currently laughing out loud at my cubicle
    Truth: I hate jillian Michaels voice but own 3 of her dvds and currently obsessed with shred it with weights
    Truth: I have conversations with my “workout friend” too
    Haha seriously this is hilarious

    • September 13, 2011 2:37 pm

      After I get the hang of the exercises, I just blast crazy house music during the 20 minutes of chatter. However, since I just switched to L2…. I gotta deal with it.

      This is gonna be rough.

  3. September 13, 2011 2:45 pm

    I have those kind of conversations with myself all the time when I do workout videos :-)

  4. September 13, 2011 3:46 pm

    Haha – I love the pic of that six-pack guy. He’s almost cute but mostly creepy. Yeah – I’m going with creepy.

  5. September 13, 2011 4:31 pm

    I. Love. This.

    I am so glad we met at HLS and that we are shredding together. :)

  6. September 13, 2011 4:32 pm

    Oh and yes those anterior raises…those will kill me one day.

  7. September 13, 2011 5:47 pm

    Seriously love this post. I need EasyA’s abs RIGHT NOW.

    I am so curious to see this shred video in action. Heard so much, but need to see it in the flesh.

  8. Jenny permalink
    September 13, 2011 6:57 pm

    You literally wrote down everything I think when doing this video! You are hilarious. I’ve been on Level 2 for about 6 weeks now and I’m terrified of moving on because : 1) I am seriously concerned about having a heart attack, and 2) I might break my TV if I see Natalie and Anita smiling those doofy smiles while I’m struggling. Good for you and keep up the shredding!

    • September 13, 2011 10:20 pm

      Haha, I haven’t even looked at L3. Fear inside my soul.

      • Jenny permalink
        September 14, 2011 7:06 am

        I previewed it a few weeks ago when my motivation (and naivety) was high so I would have an idea of what to expect. Just sitting on the couch watching what was coming made my body hurt. I’m pretty sure Jillian is the devil.

  9. Hunter permalink
    September 13, 2011 7:40 pm

    Jordy you are so funny

  10. September 13, 2011 10:15 pm

    OMG, this was totally awesomeness. :)

  11. September 13, 2011 10:58 pm

    Haha, this was fantastical! I needed a good laugh today! :-)

  12. September 14, 2011 7:55 am

    Amazing! I have had similar conversations with Jillian and company during the Shred. Loved it!

  13. September 14, 2011 8:32 am

    Bahahaha omg you are too funny :). What a great way to start my morning!

  14. September 23, 2011 12:55 pm

    LOL You have entirely too much free time on your hands.

  15. September 30, 2011 12:18 pm

    Spongebob is the perfect analogy! The 1 thing I remember most about the time I did her DVD is the hip circles…. She made them seem so important so before races the only warmup I usually do are a few spongebob hip circles!

    ps phone will not let me put a space between sponge and bob. strange

  16. June 4, 2012 8:03 pm

    I know a good therapist.

Trackbacks

  1. Thank Goodness for Bloggers! « Food, Sweat, and Beers
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