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The Hazards of Being Fabulous

May 23, 2012

I know, I know, it seems like all I talk about these days is Zumba. How I dress for it, how much I love it, how great it is. Whatever, old news, right?

Well, did you ever know how dangerous Zumba can be?

It’s risky to shake it as hard as I do, sometimes.

Let me explain.

Certain instructors like to split the room in half and work the room in a dance-off. A battle of epic, Step Up proportions. And these are excellent times. On Monday, I visited Women’s Only Workout in Chapel Hill for the first time (membership is a perk from the Healthiest You Challenge). I figured I’d tour it and try a Zumba class.  Only my fellow participants weren’t exactly as hyped up as I’m used to. While I was hooting and hollering, they were sort of silent coyotes, dancing without words.  So, when the room was split up, the instructor called me out.

Instructor: “Who do you Zumba with? Like, who taught you?”

Me: “Oh, goodness, like… any and every instructor, really.”

Instructor: “Well, class, you gotta Zumba like THIS GIRL! Get into it, let’s hear some noise!”

Me – “Challenge ACCEPTED.”

That was a challenge, right? So I decided to REALLY bring it.

The side vs. side dance-off began simply enough, lots of shaking and shimmying.

Then, we took it to the next level. We’re talking booty-popping, locking, and dropping.  So I decided to top it off with a grand finale, guaranteed to garner cheers and joy from my fellow Zumb-ers.

After shaking my way to the center, I thrust my hand in the air (like so):

You know what’s coming

Then, in an epic gesture, I dropped it low and SMACKED the floor. Like this:

MAKE THAT FLOOR WISH IT WAS NEVER LAID!

And, the moment I spanked the living daylights out of that floor, I felt it.  Right in my hand, a searing pain that one might expect to get had they slapped a brick wall for sassing them, or had their hands rapped with rulers for being snarky in school.  So, I continued to dance as the crowd roared with laughter and cheering and claps.  But what I WANTED to do was this:

MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY THAT HURT!

The result?

Hand bruises are no jokes, y’all.

What did we learn from today’s lesson, friends?

Winning a Zumba dance off is worth any and all pain.

I don’t regret a thing.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. Jenny permalink
    May 23, 2012 1:41 pm

    Just when I think I can’t possibly like you and your blog any more than I already do, you go and win a Zum-Off and get a hand bruise to prove it. Jordan, you are the $h*!.

  2. May 23, 2012 4:30 pm

    Ouchies! I wish I could’ve been there to watch you throw down. I imagine a scenario much like in the music video for “My Way” by Usher. Haha!

    • May 28, 2012 10:34 am

      Now I’ll need to go watch that and imagine myself replacing Usher. Not like I don’t do that with every video he’s in…

  3. May 23, 2012 10:54 pm

    That’s an impressive Zumba injury! I especially love the dramatic re-enactment. :)

    • May 28, 2012 10:34 am

      Well, without it, no one would understand the exact progression of events. All about historical accuracy, right?

  4. May 24, 2012 11:10 am

    Aaahhhahaha – I <3 this. Why didn't you film this, dangit!?!?!?

  5. Lawton permalink
    May 24, 2012 2:40 pm

    Hilarious!!!!!! Hope your hand gets better! Sometimes with great enthusiasm causes great pain! Way to push your class to the next level.

    • May 28, 2012 10:35 am

      That sounds like something from Spiderman. If Spiderman did Zumba… I wish Spiderman did Zumba.

  6. May 24, 2012 4:44 pm

    Hand bruise = the sign of a damn good zumba moment!

  7. May 25, 2012 10:56 am

    Hahahaha. I can pretty mch picture this and it is marvelous. The bruise, not so much. But I definitely think it was worth the glory! :)

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