Wisdom Teeth: BE GONE! (and what I sort of ate/drank Thursday)

Hello chipmunk lovers (you must be, if you’re reading this blog and you love me, a chipmunk)!!

For any of you who have never had your wisdom teeth out (or for all of you who did at a young age, and just need a laugh) let me tell you the excellent tale of today.  After my crazy and restless sleep last night, I was just ready to get these teeth the HECK out of my mouth!  Of course, in typical Jordan-likes-to-blog-every-aspect-of-her-life-shamelessly fashion, I asked the fine folks that helped me with my day today to photograph every step of the process.  I’ll be honest, posting these pictures takes enormous balls ovaries (?) but, lucky for each and every one of you, I possess ovaries of steel.  Reap the benefits, my friends.

Oh, wisdom teeth, there's no room for you in this Inn...

After saying a quick, not-so-fond farewell to my stupid wisdom teeth, we hopped in the beau’s car since I was not allowed to drive any automobiles or heavy machinery, and my other ride is a backhoe.  We headed over to the Triangle Implant Center, where I posed obnoxiously in front of the door.

Hey! It's my beau in the mirror door!! Hi, boyf!

After paying them all my moneys to yank out my teeth, I went into the ominous office, which was set up with tons of machines to regulate my anesthesia and my heart rate and blood pressure and probably all sorts of other things that I couldn’t tell you about because I’m not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV). It was then that I informed the staff of my intentions to milk them for all they were worth as they had now become part of my documentary team.  They begrudgingly agreed, because how could you say no to this face?

All hooked up with no place to go!

I am pretty sure I heard one nurse say to the other “That’s not a request we get every day… Wonder what she’s doing with this?” I told them I was going to send the pictures to my mother (which I indirectly will by sending her a link to this blog) but was not prepared to get into the whole “I write a blog and like to compulsively photograph and write about my life.” The mom excuse was a lot easier.  My other major demand: while I was out, take a picture of my teeth!

This shot is black and white to avoid looking at blood for the weak of stomach.

The next 20 minutes of my life will never be remembered.  C’est la vie.  I was told that I was SO proud when my beau walked in to get me, and announced to all 4 people in the office “THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!” with a mouth full of gauze.

This is where my giant ovaries come into play. No shame in my game.

I demanded the doctor got in a shot too. I'm bossy when I'm loopy.

All in all, it was a pretty reasonable experience.  Since I was the first appointment of the day (and have incredible veins which welcome any anesthesia with open arms vessels), it took barely more than 20 minutes.  I remember adamantly requesting a picture of my teeth and then, next time I looked up, it was 25 minutes later and I was ol’ gauze mouth.

Since solid foods were out of the question, todays eats were smooth as butter (there even was a little butter around dinner time, yum!!)  The beau did a drive by to Smoothie King, risking his life (literally) to get me an Angel Food Cake smoothie (there’s banana in it. he’s allergic. dangerous smoothie adventure!) minus the added sugar. I enjoyed this with a pill chaser (amoxicillin/pain killers) and a little bit of water.

He even came back later to check in on me around 2pm, bringing me some tomato basil soup from Harris Teeter, which was DELICIOUS! (BTW it’s double coupon week at the Teet, if you’re local that means big savings.  and hours of extreme couponing!@#?T^!?#!?$)

Pills, soup, blogging. Lunch of champions.

I was able to just sort of spoon this into the back of my throat, trying to bypass any area of gaping holes in my mouth.  It wasn’t too tough for the creamy soup.  I also had a few scoops of Black Raspberry froyo, which I made a sizable dent in by the end of the day.

Dinner was a super weird mix.

Green monster on my left

Mashed 'taters... for dessert.

Green monster contained:

Spinach, frozen mango and strawberries, blueberries, 1 1/2 cups of Almond Breeze Almond Milk (unsweetened vanilla, my favorite), and 1/2 a frozen banana.  After that, I was hungry still, but for something savory….

So I heated up some dessert. Hormel Mashed Potatoes with some garlic powder and seasoned salt.  I know, horrible dessert, but tasted so so good.  I think these mashed potatoes might be the best food for my teeth since this whole thing started.  They taste so filling and savory, despite being a squishy mush that I can actually eat.

Basically, that sums up my day.  I’m going to try to be a little bit more of a human-being tomorrow, maybe even getting my hurr did in Raleigh (PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN! FOR THE SAKE OF ALL ROOTS, EVERYWHERE!)

What would you eat if you could only have liquid/mushy foods?

What movies or shows are on Netflix streaming right now that I can watch tomorrow?!@#

Help me out, readers!!