Philly Beer Week 2015: Must Attend Events for Anyone!

Look. I’m no beer expert. I haven’t completed a single day of Cicerone training, I’ve never bar-tended or -backed (only patronized).

They say you never forget your first.... Philly Beer Week

They say you never forget your first…. Philly Beer Week

I’m merely a twenty something lover of all things Philly and all things Beer, and for one week (that boggles the space-time continuum by actually being 10 days!), I get to merge these loves in a manner never explored before I moved.
It’s as if the entire city (and, in some cases, the entire country (of brewers) and some distant, beer brewing pros from around the world) are throwing me a party (that I have to pay for) with all of my friends invited (even if I don’t know they’re my friends yet…) However, with over a thousand events (I don’t even think that’s an exaggeration. I think last year the event number hit over 1k!), it can be tough to parse out which event is best for YOU. Well, forget poring over the extensive Philly Beer Week website. Because I already spent most of last night doing that for you. Instead, sit back, relax, and pore over my (relatively) brief post about the must-attend events this year for every type of beer drinker under the sun!
I’m going to just go ahead and skip the super festive Opening Tap event, mostly because that type of thing isn’t really my bag. A little too much stimulation, too many beer options, and it just gets overwhelming to me. BUT if you wanna start the “week” off with a bang, there’s nowhere else you should be Friday, May 29th than The Armory.
For the Sweaty Beer Runner
Two events come to mind:
  1. The Craft Beer-Venture, 12pm Saturday May 30th – Starting at Varga Bar, this (FREE TO REGISTER) event is a fun-run through the city sponsored by Saucony Creek and Southern Tier Brewing with over 10 bars participating around the city. And loads of prizes. And it’s a Saturday morning.

    Basically: Does anyone wanna do this with me?

  2. Southern Tier Bridge 5k, 6:30pm, Monday, June 1st – Starting in Old City’s own Irish Pol, this event features a 5k across the Ben Franklin Bridge followed by some pretty incredible offerings from Southern Tier. Run 5k > get discounts on beer. Everyone is happy.
  3. Detox / Retox at City Tap House Logan 10:30 am-1pm, Saturday May 30th. $20 for a yoga class AND your first beer afterwards. Nama….stay all day after?

For the Dudes and Dames who Dig Drag

  1. BBQ – Brews, Broads, and Queens, 9pm May 30th
    The Goddess Isis does NOT want you to miss BBQ!

    The Goddess Isis does NOT want you to miss BBQ!

    Smokin’ Betty’s brings one of the ABSOLUTE COOLEST events of the entire year. Ladies in the brewing community, their awesome beers, and the drag queens that really tie the whole experience together. Suggested $10 donation at the door!

  2. German Beer Sparkle Party and Drag Cabaret at Alla Spina, June 2nd, 8pm. Hosted by Martha Graham Cracker, this is guaranteed to be a dazzling evening full of German brews, food specials, and Miss Martha Graham Cracker rocking the mic. $15 in advance, $20 at the door – Get LGBT Pride Month started right!
  3. (Yup there are 3 drag events to choose from) Leading Ladies Drag Night with Left Hand Brewing at Tap Room on 19th, Thursday June 4th, 7pm Their Left Hand rep Ryan Vaughan will be in full drag, as the staff of Tap Room! So pull up a seat, and get ready for a show!

For the Hungry Hop Hunter

  1. Pigs in Space at Percy Street BBQ, June 4th, 5pm-10pm. Y’all. Smoky pork treats (pulled pork, sausage, pig fritters. Oskar Blues brews. Theme attire suggested (i.e. get INTERGALACTIC with your accoutrements).
    A mechanical bull PIG to ride!
    Pigs in Space. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited.  Is that weird?
  2. Dogfish Head and Wells & Young at Local 44, June 1st, noon. I know, this is a Monday event at noon, so it might be hard to pull off. BUT think about this: The opportunity to bump elbows with Jim Robertson (Wells) AND Sam Calagione (Dogfish Head).
    Just show your boss this picture. I think (s)he'll get it.

    Just show your boss this picture. I think (s)he’ll get it.

    More Most importantly, enjoy Twice Fried Chicken from the folks at Resurrection Ale House. It’s worth the long lunch alone.

  3. First Friday Beer & Ice Cream at Little Baby’s! 6pm, Friday June 5th – Try the collaboration Pepper Lavender Ice Cream paired with Liason Saison from Saint Benjamin Brewing, this event is a great excuse to scoot up to Kensington/Port Richmond. Stop by Pizza Brain while you’re up there. Because what goes better with beer (and ice cream) than pizza (and more beer? Yep.)

For the Ladies 

  • Sadie Hawkins Dance with Allagash & New Holland at Varga Bar 10pm, June 2nd – Invite your favorite fellow or lady out for a night on the town and take your Tuesday night to the next level by taking advantage of the swanky suggested attire. PLUS Dr. Joel from New Holland and Suzy from Allagash will keep you dancing all night long. You might even nab a corsage (and then take a picture of it in the bathroom. That’s a cool thing to do.)

    Way better than high school prom

    Way better than high school prom

 For the Gents
  1.  The 5 O’clock Shave with Kimpton Hotels, 2-5pm May 31. Hit up this boutique hotel for $20 straight razor shaves from The Duke Barber Co. and exclusive brews from Barren Hill Brewery and tasty bites from Square 1682. Or if that’s not your style….
  2. Beers & Beards: The Great British Beard-off at The Dandelion 4pm, June 2nd. Because Wells and Young + Philly Beard Society Beard Contest = Joyful Jordy. Happy Hour pricing and prizes for the best bearded bros.

Get Cultured

  1. Future Sensations and Beer Garden at The Oval – All week. I bet this lighting exhibit will be EVEN cooler with a few beers in your belly.
    Just saying.
  2. A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk in to a bar again and again. Fergie’s Pub 4pm, Sunday May 31. Check out three men of faith who run beer clubs through their churches and use beer to reach their congregations. Special guest God!

This is just a smattering of the ZILLIONS of options for #PBW2015, and if you’re curious the other top events I’d recommend visiting, I’ve made this outrageously optimistic, physically-impossible-to-visit-all spreadsheet of Philly Beer Week Top Events.

So feel free to check it out, let me know if you’d like to join in any of the fun, and… if you’ve got a good beard and need a cheerleader on June 2nd, you lemme know.

See you Monday, June 8th. I'll be the one sleeping the day away.

See you Monday, June 8th. I’ll be the one sleeping the day away.

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