Pilates: A Play by Play Breakdown

Hey all, and happiest of Mondays!

I’m not a huge fan of Mondays, especially after an excellent weekend (Beer, Bourbon, and BBQ on Friday, so much fun and celebrations on Saturday and Sunday).  If it has to be Monday, though, at least it can be a Monday featuring a delicious Fajita Salad!

Leftovers: A delicacy

I took the leftovers of my On the Border fajita meal and made a salad with all these goodies:

  • Spinach base
  • cheese
  • salsa
  • reheated Fajita fixins (onions, peppers, eggplant, zucchini, yellow squash, and chicken)
  • Tomato

It was fantastic. I chased it with a chocolate Vita Top with a bit of marshmallow fluff (trying to recreate a s’more flavor… decent).

But honestly…. that’s not the point of this post.  This post is about Pilates. Before, I did a Play by Play of a Body Pump class. And I continue to do Body Pump because honestly, it’s a good time and I like it lots.  I figure it’d be nice to give a play-by-play of a class that I truly and absolutely have no interest in taking again.

Pilates: A Play by Play Breakdown

I was super-pumped to try Pilates with some of my coworkers this past Saturday.  I think, even more than the class, I was pumped to wear some of the clothes that look like what I saw all the Pilates kids doing at my gym.  I did the best I could to model my outfit after all those Pi-ladies.

Long tank top, bright sports bra, form fitting leggings

I was rocking the Under Armour ‘Shatter’ Capris that I got at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, and they were SO comfortable.  The picture doesn’t do them justice, I think, as it was placed on my table and self-timed…. but they rock.

Anyway, I got to the studio and it looked…. exactly like what I thought it would look like.

Soothing colors, random balls, carpet... the whole nine yards.

Before I knew it, the class was getting started.  I chose a funky little tye-dye yoga mat, and was ready for whatever the instructor was bringing to the table.


I knew that it was going to be tough, though, when she mentioned that the free class was because she was trying out her first time teaching an advanced class.

Uh oh.

First, she talked about breathing. And then, demonstrated it.  It truly sounds a lot like the breathing you’d hear in a Lamaze class (you know… hee hee hee, hoo hoo hoo, in and out).  I tried my hardest to focus on this all class.  You’ll see how that got me into trouble soon enough.

I’d done a few pilates-esque exercise classes in the past with AbSculpt, but this was different.

THIS was an "easy" move

I've seen swans in my life.... this is not what they look like.

We also did this one.... a bunch of times.

Lest we forget this little jewel.

Throughout it all, we were supposed to be thinking about our breathing, thinking about our abs, and considering other thoughts like where the sun was and pulling our bellybutton to our spine.

It was just too much for me to think about trying to get a workout.  And honestly, I really don’t think I even got one.

My FR60 actually stopped working due to lack of sweat and too much moving around.

A few times, I felt light-headed because I was so busy focusing on my abs, I forgot my breathing, or vice versa.

Clearly, what this class proved was:

a) Pilates is not for me and

b) Be ready to multitask when taking this class!!

I am not bashing pilates by any means, and I think that some folks are totally meant for it…. Those long, lean, flexible folks get my respect.  And maybe even a bit of my envy.

Go on with your bad self, Gwyneth!

In the meantime, though, I’ll keep my workouts fast paced with blaring music and the possibility of being kicked in the face or dropping a weight on my toe (Danger is my middle name.)

Except when it comes to these Pilates Torture Devices.... Then my middle name is "No Thank You."

NOTE: To check out the sweet source of my pilates pose images, or sexy Gwyneth, just click on the image… it’ll take you there!

Have you ever done pilates?

How about a workout that you thought you’d like and ended up not being fond of?

Responding to Les Mills Motivational Posters

Good evening ladies and gents!!

Today, after work, I had two things on my mind: Zumba and Dinner.

While shopping for dinner, I passed what I’ll consider a sign from the powers that be, and stopped thinking about food entirely.

Wine sale? Don't mind if I do.

Clearly, I had to do something really stupid, because when life hands you lemons (or carts full of discount wine), make lemonade (or buy it.)

That's right, Arbor Mist SUCKAS!

I picked up a somewhat classy bottle of Bogle Riesling (gotta celebrate the Summer of Riesling, right?) and an opposite-of-classy bottle of “Mixed Berry” Arbor Mist.  Because sometimes… well, you gotta throw back a bottle of ridiculously cheap wine, college lady style.  I’m hoping that my friend, Veronika, will wanna do a little wine tasting like we did before…. Then I can sneak in that Arbor Mist and see where the night goes!

Zumba Nation!!!!!

Zumba was a success, for the most part.  But I’ll be honest, by the end of the workout, I was feeling kinda ornery and tender in the ankle/knee region.  And as I walked outta the gym, I passed these godforsaken motivational posters that I always see.  Even though I love working out, by the end, I mostly end up hateful towards anything telling me to work harder.  These posters are no exception.  I thought I’d share with you my visceral reactions to these Les Mills Motivational Posters (note, these are all post-workout thoughts, I love motivation and Les Mills programs).

BodyFlow poster.

“Well, I guess… if today was different…. I’d spend most of it in the pose that you weirdos are doing. However, it’s not different, so I’ll try to continue it not looking like a tool. Thanks.”

BodyPump poster

“You’re right. This could be day one.  Day one of getting a massage once a week, day one of sleeping 10 hours a day, day one of PLENTY more things than being fit. I know that you want it to be day one of lifting way more weight than I’m comfortable lifting in BodyPump, but I think I’ll go for the massage. Thanks.”

BodyAttack poster

“You know what, BodyAttack?  The hardest part isn’t deciding to go. I think the hardest part is that damn plyometric track where you force me to jump back and forth doing single lunges in a room that’s so hot I think the ground is actively sweating.  Deciding to go… that was NBD.”

BodyCombat poster

“Well, I know what’s stopping the young lady on the left, and that is the harness built into her shorts.  As far as what’s stopping me… It might be a fear that the giant man in the back is going to kick me in the kidney, or the fact that the girl in front of me refuses to look back when she does those donkey kicks towards my face…  Take your pick.”

Though these posters always inspire me when I’m going into the group fitness room, when I see them on the way out…. Let’s just say that they’re lucky they haven’t been ripped off the wall.

I think I’ll take the day off the gym tomorrow, my ankle was acting up by the end of Zumba and I’d love some time to finally unpack after this wild wedding weekend.

In case you missed the recaps, check out the Wedding Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner!

Do motivational posters pump you up, or tick you off? 

For me, it’s a little of both…