DC | Food, Sweat, and Beers

Sometimes, when life throws you ~~lemons~~ a buddy driving up to DC who’s stowaway friendly, you gotta ~~make lemonade~~ pack your bags and get ready for action. So that’s what I did. I loaded up Melissa’s car with 2 small backpacks and 9 bananas (part of the 11 I got for $1 on Thursday!) and hopped in the front seat. I decided to surprise my baby sister, Kiley, who was playing volleyball at the Convention Center in National Harbor, Maryland, a GORGEOUS place I’d never been before right on the Potomac River.

Since yesterday was a long day of driving, I didn’t have time to squeak in a normal Six Pack Sunday, but a day late is still great.

1. Lukewarm Lunchmeat

Not even if I were eating meat, thanks.

Road trips are great places to find ridiculous edible items. These Go Picnic snack packs looked great, except for one key piece: room-temperature meats and cheeses. Though I found these whilst still being a Pescatarian Polly, I can tell you I’d never buy one, no matter how hungry I happened to be.

2. Mad Men (Rated M)

At least this scene was decent

The thing about watching Mad Men on the treadmill is that there are some awesome scenes where Peggy is talking smack with the boys, and it’s hilarious. Then, there are times where the Sterling Cooper fellows head to a strip club, and I’m in a hotel fitness room surrounded by the parents of teenage volleyball players. Awkward, much?

Much too much.

I listened to Pandora for the rest of my workout.

3. Peeps Store (Yes, it exists.)

??!?!

And it is AWESOME.

Glowing gloriously.

You can imagine how packed it was during Easter weekend. So much marshmallow.

4. The ~~Little~~ Giant Mermaid

I’ve never worn shells as a bra but, when you’re wearing teal pants (close enough to a fin, right?) and you spot the most inspiring rock, you don’t really have a choice, do you?

Part of that worlddddddddddddddddddd

You want thingamabobs? I’ve got 20.

5. National Zoo: Dream Come True!

Red Panda Party!

We never thought that Easter Sunday would be a packed day at the National Zoo. We were totally shocked when we got there, parking was damned near impossible, and the lines for the panda exhibit were football-field length. But it was all worth it (the time, as admission is FREE!!) when we saw this tiny red panda climbing up some logs. The tigers was fierce, the lions were larger than life, and the monkey jerking it…. well that was just icing on the cake.

6. Pinky Rides the Bull

Fun tip: When you think your pink bra won’t show through your black top, you’re wrong.

Yeeeee haw!

After a lot of squats the week before, and a little too much time on the hip abduction and adduction machines, my thighs were totally unprepared for what a killer workout it is holding onto a bucking bull, even if he was mechanical. But, for $3 at Cadillac Ranch in National Harbor, I couldn’t resist!! I held on as long as I could (which likely wasn’t very long, though it felt like forever) before I felt something slipping. DAMN my decision to rock the leggings! I slipped right off that bull and into the inflatable ring, laughing the whole time. It was a blast, and I’d TOTALLY do it again! Though next time, I think I’ll try to pack some shorts… or at least chaps.

Thanks, National Harbor, for showing us a good time.

Ever rode a bull (live OR mechanical)? How long did you stay on? Any tips?

What’s your favorite exhibit at the zoo?

Mine’s normally not at the zoo at all, but the aquarium. And it’s ALWAYS the Jellyfish.

Yesterday, for nine hours, I was a road warrior. A trip that, in the past, has taken me a mere 6.5-7 hours transformed into a nine hour driving bonanza. I figured there’d be no harm in inviting you into my brain during those nine glorious hours. Here are the thoughts I thought, the sights I saw, and musings along the way.

Heck yeah! 10:30, getting started early!! I’ll be home in time for an early dinner!

Every time I see Oxford on a sign, whether it’s in North Carolina or Pennsylvania, I wish it was for Mississippi.

I am so hungry. Why didn’t I eat before I left? I’ll just hold off until 12:30. If I can make it until then, I’ll be more than a quarter through the trip! [how wrong I was.]

Marlboro Country?

Good to know the cigarette business is alive and kicking.

Driving through Virginia is like inviting all of my country music dreams to come to life.

LUNCHTIME!

You know what would go so well with leftover salad?

Solid choice.

Salad + Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets + Fries = balanced meal.

I’m pretty sure that Taylor Swift and I would be great friends in real life. She might get mad that I couldn’t French braid her hair, though. That’s okay, I’m sure she has people for that.

Since when is a medium soda the size of my face? There’s no way I’ll be able to finish this.

*rattling of ice* Wow, was that it?

[20 minutes later] gotta pee.

Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee.

I know… I will just get through DC. Once I pass DC, I will get gas and use the restroom.

Thank goodness I have this GPS, I’d never know where I was going.

[At this point, I blindly followed my GPS that hasn’t been updated for 4 years.]

Uh oh.

Washington Monument or America's peen?

I am not a cartographer, but I’m pretty certain that “around DC” is not the same as “through DC”. This is going to get messy.

Neat. Now I’m in the middle of Washington DC, no idea of how to get around, hoping to God that this GPS can steer me home.

Bumper to bumper traffic. Score.

Whoah, jam.

Upon closer look, apparently the streets of DC are fans of Lisa. Or just Okies, in general.

I can’t STAND when people’s cars are so covered in bumper stickers that you feel like you’re reading their biography.

Oh my LORD I have to pee. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever wanted the equpment to pee in a bottle.

FINALLY through Washington!! Time to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

And also, time to practice my straw whistling skills. I’m super skilled. (At looking gorgeous and having flawless skin.)

Oooh, is it snowing?!

Refuse.

Turns out it was actually bits of paper and trash coming off the back of this truck. Thank goodness I wasn’t dreaming of a white Christmas.

Hooray! I’m back on I95!! Next stop, HOME!

No, wait, just more traffic.

[at this point, I called my Dad for a back way. then got trigger happy, and took the first turn I saw. BIG mistake.]

Oh, great, one lane road 40 MPH. Lesson of the evening?

Appearances can be deceiving.

Just because a sign says Route 1, doesn’t mean it’s the Route 1 you want to get on. It could be Maryland 1. Or Pennsylvania 1. Or a sign made by a young child. Either way, it’s going to take forever to get home.

Thank GOD for NPR! Today, I learned about Cancer, Pakistan, Doula services, migratory patterns of birds, and NASDAQ. Jealous?

2 hours later, one GIANT accident navigated around (smart phone to the rescue!), and about 70 miles later…. Is that the intoxicating smell of my mother’s THOUSANDS of candles?!