Things that I would rather do than read the “May the Fourth be with you” anymore on the internet:

• Lose all my checked luggage at the airport
• Drink ONLY Pickle Back shots all night
  

  Grosser than gross.

• Lose all my DVRed TV shows/movies (like A Goofy Movie. THAT would be the worst loss.)
• Have to walk through all Drive-Thru ATMs
  

  No, this didn’t bother anyone at all.

• Sit between two giant, hairy, smelly guys on my next flight (which is still possible, tonight… keep your fingers crossed!)
• Get 10,000 spoons when all I need is a knife
• Get caught in a windstorm wearing all black, and carrying a plate of beignets
  

  This doesn’t look promising

• Have to cheer for Duke. Ever.
  

  The only time I may actually do that.

• Get lost in Philly and lose my GPS signal (also very possible, I get lost easily.)
• Have to spend the weekend in Sevierville, TN home of Dolly Parton… Again.
  

  This actually happened one year the night before Thanksgiving… but that’s a story for another time.

•  Hmmm… That’s all I can think of right now, off-hand.

There are probably countless other options, but none that come to mind with fun illustrations to go with them.

I can’t wait for Cinco de Mayo, if only because Han Solo will take a back seat to tequila jokes and sombreros.

Comprende?

Do you have any least favorite holidays that aren’t actually holidays, they’re just things that people made up to sound clever?

Basically, I’m asking if you are as sick of these ridiculous tweets and status updates as I am….

Goodness, I sound bitter.