Memoirs of a Road Warrior

Yesterday, for nine hours, I was a road warrior. A trip that, in the past, has taken me a mere 6.5-7 hours transformed into a nine hour driving bonanza.  I figured there’d be no harm in inviting you into my brain during those nine glorious hours.  Here are the thoughts I thought, the sights I saw, and musings along the way.

Heck yeah! 10:30, getting started early!! I’ll be home in time for an early dinner!

Every time I see Oxford on a sign, whether it’s in North Carolina or Pennsylvania, I wish it was for Mississippi.

I am so hungry. Why didn’t I eat before I left?  I’ll just hold off until 12:30. If I can make it until then, I’ll be more than a quarter through the trip! [how wrong I was.]

Marlboro Country?

Good to know the cigarette business is alive and kicking.

Driving through Virginia is like inviting all of my country music dreams to come to life.

LUNCHTIME!

You know what would go so well with leftover salad?

Solid choice.

Salad + Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets + Fries = balanced meal.

I’m pretty sure that Taylor Swift and I would be great friends in real life. She might get mad that I couldn’t French braid her hair, though. That’s okay, I’m sure she has people for that.

Since when is a medium soda the size of my face?  There’s no way I’ll be able to finish this.

*rattling of ice* Wow, was that it?

[20 minutes later] gotta pee.

Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee.

I know… I will just get through DC. Once I pass DC, I will get gas and use the restroom.

Thank goodness I have this GPS, I’d never know where I was going.

[At this point, I blindly followed my GPS that hasn’t been updated for 4 years.]

Uh oh.

Washington Monument or America's peen?

I am not a cartographer, but I’m pretty certain that “around DC” is not the same as “through DC”.  This is going to get messy.

Neat. Now I’m in the middle of Washington DC, no idea of how to get around, hoping to God that this GPS can steer me home.

Bumper to bumper traffic. Score.

Whoah, jam.

Upon closer look, apparently the streets of DC are fans of Lisa.  Or just Okies, in general.

I can’t STAND when people’s cars are so covered in bumper stickers that you feel like you’re reading their biography.

Oh my LORD I have to pee. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever wanted the equpment to pee in a bottle.

FINALLY through Washington!! Time to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

And also, time to practice my straw whistling skills. I’m super skilled. (At looking gorgeous and having flawless skin.)

Oooh, is it snowing?!

Refuse.

Turns out it was actually bits of paper and trash coming off the back of this truck. Thank goodness I wasn’t dreaming of a white Christmas.

Hooray! I’m back on I95!! Next stop, HOME!

No, wait, just more traffic.

[at this point, I called my Dad for a back way. then got trigger happy, and took the first turn I saw. BIG mistake.]

Oh, great, one lane road 40 MPH. Lesson of the evening?

Appearances can be deceiving.

Just because a sign says Route 1, doesn’t mean it’s the Route 1 you want to get on. It could be Maryland 1. Or Pennsylvania 1. Or a sign made by a young child. Either way, it’s going to take forever to get home.

Thank GOD for NPR! Today, I learned about Cancer, Pakistan, Doula services, migratory patterns of birds, and NASDAQ.  Jealous?

2 hours later, one GIANT accident navigated around (smart phone to the rescue!), and about 70 miles later…. Is that the intoxicating smell of my mother’s THOUSANDS of candles?!

VICTORY!

I have arrived.

Favorite part of road trips?

Mine is probably the point where you lose all control of being logical and normal and start talking to yourself.

 

 

 

 

The 61 Hour Wedding Whirlwind Weekend: The Rehearsal

Hey all!!  I’m back to the grind of day to day after a CRAZY weekend in Pittsburgh, PA for the wedding of my best friend, Caitlin, to the man of her dreams!

I have to admit, getting back to a healthy lunch after all that rich food this weekend was JUST what I was craving.  The theme of the meal?

Green!

Broccoli, Spinach, and Lime (diet pepsi lime, that is...)

Ok, I’ll admit, the Diet Pepsi Lime isn’t the freshest of ingredients, but I was in desperate need of some caffeine.  And also, on my sandwich, along with the spinach, was melted muenster cheese, a fried egg, and a piece of turkey. On the side? Steamed broccoli.  All served in the cutest plate/bowl set ever, from the movie Wall-E (a VERY favorite of the beau and I.  I’m always Eva.)

But honestly, I know you’re not reading this post for my lunch.  You want the good stuff.  And I’m here to give it to you.

Rest assured, this is part one of a few (not sure how many yet) because I simply can’t fit all the fun into one post.

After waking up at 5 am on Friday morning, we hit the ground running (very tough after the fun had on Thursday with the Girls Pint Out event!)  We hit up Dunkin Donuts and, honestly, I don’t even remember the first few hours of the trip (thanks to the beau for driving!!)

Before we knew it (well, not really, but eventually) we made it to Pittsburgh!!

Wahoo!! FINALLY!!

We got settled in, I jumped in the shower, and Ryan spent his time doing more important things… Like testing out the hotel bed.

It definitely met up to his standards.

While he stayed in the room and got to enjoy some pizza delivered to his room (some boys have all the luck), I went to begin the Maid of Honor duties… And that meant getting ready with the girls for the rehearsal and dinner!

Beautiful bride-to-be primping!

Cait's college roomies sharing the giant mirror in Cait's room

After we felt sufficiently dolled up, we ventured across the bridge to the BEAUTIFUL Heinz Chapel.  It seems like only yesterday (but truly it was 14 months ago!) that we were posing outside of this stunning chapel or feigning holding of the bridal bouquets.

14 months ago, how time flies!

After a bit of confusion with the parking garage, I finally made it to the church and couldn’t RESIST trying out the rehearsal bouquet on for size.

A rainbow of colors = my favorite color

Big thanks to Cait’s bridesmaid, Lindsey, for her hard work making the bouquet and for toting my non-local booty all over the greater Pittsburgh area.  The sky was looking rather foreboding, same as during Cait’s Bachelorette party night, but most of us made it out of the weather unscathed.

Rain, rain, GO AWAY!

The bride was absolutely glowing, and the rehearsal was just stunning.

She's just stoked her sexy hair didn't get wet!

Heinz Chapel is absolutely magnificent in every sense of the word.  The stained glass all over the building is breathtaking, the acoustics are BOOMING, and the central air conditioning… is non-existent.

It really feels like a castle.

Those fans were the only thing keeping the bridal party from straight melting to the pews.

I tried to tough it out and not cry all weekend (a nearly impossible endeavor for a Weepy Wendy like myself) but the second Eamonn started reading his vows, I lost it.

The ONLY tissue that my tear ducts demanded from me all weekend!!

Luckily, I only needed one of the tissues from the ever-ready boxes all weekend, and the rest of the rehearsal I was (for the most part) okay….  I walked a little too fast with my walking-buddy, Jimmy (her little brother… and the only member of the groomsmen that was over 5’10” aka the ONLY acceptable walking partner), and tried to keep my choking sobs to a minimum, and within about 40 minutes, we were outta there!!

Just a teaser of what was to come!

Stay tuned for the rest of the weekend, I promise, it only gets better from here!!

Are you a Weepy Wendy like myself?  If so, what gets you going?