Sloppy Sams: A Lentil Adventure

Here’s a few thoughts:

  1. Lentils are dirty.  If you’re going to use them, rinse the heck outta them.  And then, if you’re me, after you cook them, rinse them again.  Gross.
  2. Despite wolfing down many during camp lunches, I don’t really remember what Sloppy Joe’s taste like.
  3. I know that Sloppy Sams taste great.

Unlike the whole Soy Chorizo situation, I didn’t seek out this recipe to replace some sort of meat that was missing in my life. I just saw a recipe online, and figured “I have good memories of Sloppy Joes, right? Lots of camp memories, lots of laughter at the old lady in Billy Madison, let’s do this thing.”

Alas, I didn’t don a sexy lunchlady outfit for y’all.  But I found a great recipe!  Then I changed it to fit my needs.

Sloppy Sams from Marian at All Recipes!


  • 3 cups water
  • 1 cup lentils, rinsed (THEN RINSE THEM AGAIN!!)
  • salt to taste (optional)
  • 1 cup chopped red onion
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 cups chopped tomato One can fire roasted tomatoes, and a handful of fresh tomato
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/2 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup ketchup a liberal squirting of ketchup, but I didn’t measure it out
  • 1 teaspoon mustard powder RATS I didn’t have any, I wish I did
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder (then more because I’m a spice monger)
  • 3 tablespoons molasses Tomatoes are already sweet, why add more sweetness?
  • 1 dash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt and ground black pepper to taste
  • 4 hamburger buns, split Whatever bread you have!
  • Cheese and jalapenos for topping!
Makes about six servings!


  1. Combine water and lentils in a saucepan; season to taste with salt if desired. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until tender, about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  2. Meanwhile, cook onions with the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat until the onions have softened and turned translucent, about 4 minutes. Add tomatoes (and can of tomatoes) and garlic, and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in tomato paste, ketchup, mustard powder, chili powder, molasses and Worcestershire sauce; simmer 5 to10 minutes until thickened.
  3. Drain lentils and reserve cooking liquid. Stir lentils into sauce mixture, adding cooking liquid or water as needed to obtain the desired “sloppy joe” consistency. Serve on buns toasted wheat breadwith a sprinkle of cheese and some jalapenos!

I enjoyed the HECK out of this!


I also sprinkled a bit of cheese on top and, next time I’ve got em, I’ll add some jalapenos (pickled or fresh) on top for a little heat.

I will say, though, this recipe makes enough for about 6 servings.  Now I have a Simba-sized tub of leftovers.

How about THIS?!

Consider me Rafiki!

That ought to tide me over (had to check on that phrase, I never know if it’s Tie or Tide) for a while.

Dessert was what I like to call The Friend Killer.


It may look like just a banana with some peanut butter to YOU but, to me, this is basically a weapon.  In college, two of my the people I was closest with (and one that I continue to be close with, since he’s my boyfriend and all) were deathly allergic to these two ingredients (one to bananas, one to nuts).  If I’d eaten this around them, they’d basically both go into anaphylactic shock and die.

Well, when the friends are away, the Jordan will play…. with her food. I may or may not have “Pew Pewed” holding this banana like a gun a few times, before eating it.  Normal.

(No friends [or enemies] were hurt during the writing of this blog).

Back to work!

Are you allergic to anything? Especially food?

When I was younger, I was allergic to eggs…. but clearly that’s faded. Nothing else, other than that. I guess I’ll just have to keep eating random foods until I find something.

14 thoughts on “Sloppy Sams: A Lentil Adventure

  1. The friend killer cracks me up. Lennie knows that if he eats black licorice or drinks root beer or cream soda, I will not be near him. The smell is wife repellant.

    I once had a biz dinner with a supplier that was allergic to eggs and she told me that some wines have eggs! Who knew?

  2. I would die if I was allergic to bananas or peanut butter I love both things so much!

    I say I am allergic to coconut because it makes me seriously sick to my stomach but I have been told there is no such thing as a coconut allergy but w.e. I’m allergic ha!

  3. I would not put this up if I were you, but here are my thoughts.

    1. that doesnt look like a banana
    2. I have been reading your blog for a while and every time I see your apartment, I want to come and clean it.

    • Put it up where? On the internet? I looked at the picture a few times, and (to me at least) it still looks like a banana. As far as the desire to come and clean the apartment, I wish you’d take me up on that!

      But, joking aside, I’m actually in the middle of a big apartment overhaul right now with the cleaning front (though I can’t make excuses for all the other times). Unfortunately, every time I seem to get it clean, it just seems to get messy the very next day! Maybe I’m just a slob at heart… That, or the earliest stages of a hoarder (hoping against that second one.)

  4. This was a great post, I’m glad you put this up! I would love to sample this sloppy creation with you, even if your apartment has a tiny bit of clutter.

  5. Creativity with lentils! Love it! I made a lentil stew for the first time a few months ago. It was like a gut-bomb but in a good way. One cup for lunch and I was stuffed to the gills for hours. Great food!

  6. I bought lentils a few months back and used some of the bag for 1 recipe. I don’t think I washed them well enough though because….. well… i don’t have happy memories of that recipe. I could get behind the sloppy joe concept though, they remind me of the movie It Takes Two

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