SweatX Launch (or Why I Can’t Date a Crossfitter)

We’re gonna start out with a tale. It’s brief, I promise. It’s called “Why I Can’t EVEN with Crossfit.”

Once upon a time, I dated a fellow. He was charming and handsome and had quads for days. There was also a laundry list of reasons we were rubbish for each other, but I’m a sucker for a strong vocabulary and a tight end. But then, it happened. Or rather, I noticed it was happening. He evolved from casual enthusiast to full-blown “Crossfitter.”

You know the type.

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Suddenly, those quads were gains. The term “Thruster” was not sexy at all. And paleo living made for really lame dates (this coming from the woman who eats her way through every city she visits.) And all he ever talked about was the gang at the box. What meat they were eating… Cool.

We didn’t last, and I vowed that I forever would give the Crossfit Cult a side eye.

Damn shame since, beyond the typical reasons everyone else gives it a side-eye, Crossfit sounds right up my alley. Competitive, team vibe. Hype AF. Unfortunately, also super expensive. Oh well.

Only this week, something magical occurred. I think I found the perfect combination of all that to a lighter degree, at a gym I already know and love, without the cave people (no offense to you avid Crossfitters out there, I’m sure you’re lovely).

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SweatX classes are taught by SWEAT Fitness’ top instructors and are customized for each participant’s fitness level and ability. Translation: Whether you’re used to working with 50 pound kettlebells or you’re a newb to weights entirely, they’re here to help you have a killer workout at YOUR skill level. You’ll use weights, ropes, kettlebells, box jumps, interval training, and more to lift your fitness game to new heights.

What ALSO sets this program apart is that the classes are capped at ten participants allowing SWEATX Instructor and Director of Personal Training (Oh, and total babe), Chris Harris and his team to oversee each class member’s progress.

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Here’s Chris warming the team up.

Is there a slight competitive nature? Yup. Is there that hyper-crazy GOTTA BEAT EVERYONE vibe? Nah. Maybe it’s like… Crossfit Lite.

Was I a little bummed out when women 9″ shorter than me were squatting literally double my weights?

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Maybe.

But I’ve gotta say, having Chris and the team right behind me, as someone who’s never used a squat rack before, coaching me on form and telling me to just push a little harder was more motivation than I would’ve been able to muster up alone in the gym.

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Ample Opportunity to Tighten my Own End

ALSO: Gotta appreciate any opportunity to get a photo of my tush looking like that….

We warmed up as a team and with partners, we did dead lifts, we squatted our asses off (just kidding, it’s still there. A little sore, but it’s there), and we even rocked some kettlebells.

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Far too high energy to be caught by modern technology

Clearly, this wasn’t a time to be looking terribly photogenic. But it was a time to break a NON-STOP SWEAT. We ended with five sets of 25 squats and these terrible nightmares called Ramp Runs that I hope you never have to experience (just kidding, come join us, they’re a total joy).

Even though I never felt like I was ENTIRELY unable to push myself anymore, I was drenched. That was a hell of a workout, and the numbers don’t lie. Sub-hour workout, 718 calories burned. You really can’t beat it.

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Whoah.

I just may have something in the works to see what SweatX can do beyond the first workout. But I’ve gotta say, if that first round was any indication, this style of class can take you from a Jelly-legged Jordan to an elite athlete if you put your mind to it. For $149 per month, you get unlimited SWEATX classes PLUS a full SWEAT Fitness membership and access to all 8 of their locations. Luckily, I’m already a member of Sweat, so I’m feeling this price point for something that has the potential to be transformative.

Wanna know more about SweatX, or sign up? Head to Sweat’s Queen Village location at 700 East Passyunk Ave

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2 thoughts on “SweatX Launch (or Why I Can’t Date a Crossfitter)

  1. saw this post on my friends Facebook, and i gotta say, everything you said about crossfit is dead wrong. and everything you described sweatX as, IS CROSSFIT, they just can’t call it that due to legal issues. you can’t judge crossfit off of your ex’s experience, opinion, or how much he talks about it. you should go to a crossfit class at a qualified box. heck, even come to mine. and i can guarantee everything you think about crossfit is wrong.

    • @ a girl who does Crossfit . What classifies you as a qualified box?? Because you spent $3k a year to buy the name Crossfit?

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