Hello chipmunk lovers (you must be, if you’re reading this blog and you love me, a chipmunk)!!
For any of you who have never had your wisdom teeth out (or for all of you who did at a young age, and just need a laugh) let me tell you the excellent tale of today. After my crazy and restless sleep last night, I was just ready to get these teeth the HECK out of my mouth! Of course, in typical Jordan-likes-to-blog-every-aspect-of-her-life-shamelessly fashion, I asked the fine folks that helped me with my day today to photograph every step of the process. I’ll be honest, posting these pictures takes enormous balls ovaries (?) but, lucky for each and every one of you, I possess ovaries of steel. Reap the benefits, my friends.
Oh, wisdom teeth, there's no room for you in this Inn...
After saying a quick, not-so-fond farewell to my stupid wisdom teeth, we hopped in the beau’s car since I was not allowed to drive any automobiles or heavy machinery, and my other ride is a backhoe. We headed over to the Triangle Implant Center, where I posed obnoxiously in front of the door.
Hey! It's my beau in the mirror door!! Hi, boyf!
After paying them all my moneys to yank out my teeth, I went into the ominous office, which was set up with tons of machines to regulate my anesthesia and my heart rate and blood pressure and probably all sorts of other things that I couldn’t tell you about because I’m not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV). It was then that I informed the staff of my intentions to milk them for all they were worth as they had now become part of my documentary team. They begrudgingly agreed, because how could you say no to this face?
All hooked up with no place to go!
I am pretty sure I heard one nurse say to the other “That’s not a request we get every day… Wonder what she’s doing with this?” I told them I was going to send the pictures to my mother (which I indirectly will by sending her a link to this blog) but was not prepared to get into the whole “I write a blog and like to compulsively photograph and write about my life.” The mom excuse was a lot easier. My other major demand: while I was out, take a picture of my teeth!
This shot is black and white to avoid looking at blood for the weak of stomach.
The next 20 minutes of my life will never be remembered. C’est la vie. I was told that I was SO proud when my beau walked in to get me, and announced to all 4 people in the office “THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!” with a mouth full of gauze.
This is where my giant ovaries come into play. No shame in my game.
I demanded the doctor got in a shot too. I'm bossy when I'm loopy.
All in all, it was a pretty reasonable experience. Since I was the first appointment of the day (and have incredible veins which welcome any anesthesia with open arms vessels), it took barely more than 20 minutes. I remember adamantly requesting a picture of my teeth and then, next time I looked up, it was 25 minutes later and I was ol’ gauze mouth.
Since solid foods were out of the question, todays eats were smooth as butter (there even was a little butter around dinner time, yum!!) The beau did a drive by to Smoothie King, risking his life (literally) to get me an Angel Food Cake smoothie (there’s banana in it. he’s allergic. dangerous smoothie adventure!) minus the added sugar. I enjoyed this with a pill chaser (amoxicillin/pain killers) and a little bit of water.
He even came back later to check in on me around 2pm, bringing me some tomato basil soup from Harris Teeter, which was DELICIOUS! (BTW it’s double coupon week at the Teet, if you’re local that means big savings. and hours of extreme couponing!@#?T^!?#!?$)
Pills, soup, blogging. Lunch of champions.
I was able to just sort of spoon this into the back of my throat, trying to bypass any area of gaping holes in my mouth. It wasn’t too tough for the creamy soup. I also had a few scoops of Black Raspberry froyo, which I made a sizable dent in by the end of the day.
Dinner was a super weird mix.
Green monster on my left
Mashed 'taters... for dessert.
Green monster contained:
Spinach, frozen mango and strawberries, blueberries, 1 1/2 cups of Almond Breeze Almond Milk (unsweetened vanilla, my favorite), and 1/2 a frozen banana. After that, I was hungry still, but for something savory….
So I heated up some dessert. Hormel Mashed Potatoes with some garlic powder and seasoned salt. I know, horrible dessert, but tasted so so good. I think these mashed potatoes might be the best food for my teeth since this whole thing started. They taste so filling and savory, despite being a squishy mush that I can actually eat.
Basically, that sums up my day. I’m going to try to be a little bit more of a human-being tomorrow, maybe even getting my hurr did in Raleigh (PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN! FOR THE SAKE OF ALL ROOTS, EVERYWHERE!)
What would you eat if you could only have liquid/mushy foods?
What movies or shows are on Netflix streaming right now that I can watch tomorrow?!@#
Help me out, readers!!
Food, Sweat, and Beers 
Netflix streams the Brittish version of Skins if you haven’t already seen it. Its great!
Wow! Those are serious teeth! Before I had braces once upon a time I had 8 teeth removed at once, including my wisdom teeth. Chipmunk.right.here!
Netflix: I say go old school and watch Felicity! One of my all time favorites. OR watch Top Chef – the show I dearly miss over here in Spain.
Ahhh top chef, that’s a great idea!! Good suggestion.
I remember when i was in Italy and found a few streaming shows online, it was like the best taste of home possible!
Poor girl! I will never forget getting my wisdom teeth pulled out, I was so knocked out on pain pills. I ate a ton of protein pancakes because they were soft, protein shakes with banannas and soup. Good luck…it will be over before you know it!
Dude that is awesome. I have had two of mine removed. It. Was. Not. Fun. I also use the excuse it is for my mother, which she does see, by reading the blog. LOL Glad to know Im not the only one. People/friends/co-workers.. Sometimes think I may be a little crazy.. haha Aren’t we all?? 🙂
I think we’re that kind of crazy that everyone could use in their lives.
This is the best post about teeth removal I have ever read. It’s also the only post, but you have now set the bar WAY HIGH. 🙂 If you don’t already watch Mad Men, I recommend it. You don’t even need Netflix if you have Cable On Demand! A&E puts a lot of their shows previous seasons for free on there.
Ah, thank you princess. I honestly haven’t gotten into Mad Men, and don’t think I have cable on demand (DEPRESSION). That being said, I hope no one ever lives up to my teeth removal post. HEAR THAT, BLOGOSPHERE?! Don’t ever get your teeth out, or I’ll fight ya!
bahahahah you documented your wisdom teeth removal. that is awesome. i had all 4 of mine out in high school, and apparently i tried to talk the whole time during surgery. i told them my favorite color is purple (it is), and that i was going to cape cod for vacation (i was). i can even keep my mouth shut when im unconscious!
After I had my wisdom teeth pulled (all four, thank you), I thought i was Miss America. I got up and grabbed my pretend flowers and waved to the crowd and proceeded to thank all the little people that made this magical moment happen. Iwas also peeking in other patient rooms thanking them for my crown too. My mom thought it was hilarious. When I came back for my checkup, the Dr greeted me as Miss America. Embarassing then, hilarious now.
That’s hilarious, especially the part where you ventured into other patients’ rooms! well done!
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I’m a little late to the game but as of right now, through the work day, through tonight I’m going to be catching up on FSB…
Glad you finally got those painful teeth out! Ahaha so funny that you had them take pictures of it all! My fave mushy food after I got my wisdom teeth out was chocolate PUDDING!!!!!!
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