Oh my goodness.
I’m 80% sure I’m about to die.
After 10 days of the 30 Day Shred – Level 1, I was feeling pretty badass. Then…. Level 2. I’m floored with the difference between the two. As I mentioned, I’m shredding for the wedding (of my cousin) so it’s a pretty big deal.
Deep breaths. (click for source)
I’ve been waiting to write this post since Day 1, Level 1. Every day that I meet with my girls, Jillian, Anita, and Natalie, I have a little conversation. Sure, it’s mostly one sided. But I wanted to share it with you all. Since the fun times at the Healthy Living Summit, when I realized the joy of live tweeting from a conference, I’ve thought about how I could share that fun with each person that reads my blog. Here’s my chance.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present:
Live Tweeting: 30 Day Shred – Level 1
The cast?
Jillian: Mistress of Shedding
Twitter Handle: Jshred
“Take It Easy” Anita
Twitter handle: EasyA
“Billy Badass” Natalie
Twitter handle: NatDawg
Jordan “Can these be my handweights?” Price
Twitter handle: foodsweatnbeers
Let us begin:
foodsweatnbeers: oh, neat, ok, we’re just strolling in here, all relaxed. This shouldn’t be too bad.
foodsweatnbeers: Hey Jillian, thanks for introducing yourself….
foodsweatnbeers: I hate that she calls these women “my two best girls.” I’m already sick of her voice.
Jshred: Well, they are my best girls. AREN’T YOU, LADIES?
Natdawg: Yeah, J. We’re your best girls.
EasyA: #terrrified
foodsweatnbeers: I’m probably tough enough to follow @Natdawg. I got this. Warmup time!
Jshred: Big Movement. Don’t be static.
EasyA: I’d like to take this time to let everyone know that I will spend the next 20 mins flexing my abs.
Flexing is FUN! (click for source)
foodsweatnbeers: Great. Thanks, Anita.
EasyA: I’ll also be more flexible than you, Jillian, and Natalie. K?
foodsweatnbeers: w/e. I’m trying to windmill over here.
Jshred: I just don’t want anyone to get injured. That’s why we’ll be doing infinite jumping jacks.
foodsweatnbeers: sure. that makes sense. you’re approximately a doctor. Hip circles always remind me of spongebob.
Bring it arounnnnnd town. (click for source)
Jshred: SHUT UP AND JUMP JACKS WITH ME!
foodsweatnbeers: oh no. Pushups. Just try to do at least 8 with Natalie.
EasyA: What’s that supposed to mean?
NatDawg: Get on my level.
foodsweatnbeers: I’m pretty sure I could squat forever. Those pushups were tough but I think I feel good about this.
NatDawg: Well, if you’re so tough: Get. On. My. Level. Literally.
foodsweatnbeers: Can’t squat that low. Bad knees. #sorryimnotsorry
Jshred: pushup time, b*tches.
foodsweatnbeers: (after 2 toe pushups) I HAVE NO ARMS! THEY’RE FALLING OFF RIGHT NOW!
JShred: Just don’t phone this in, Jordan.
foodsweatnbeers: Wait. Was that an option? Is there a number I can call?
EasyA: Squats are fun when you don’t do them!
foodsweatnbeers: 2 minutes of cardio? I do BodyAttack on the regular. What is this, a joke?
(after 30 more jumping jacks and half a minute of jump rope)
foodsweatnbeers: What was I thinking?! I HAVE NO FITNESS! Hey, @NatDawg, have you ever really jumproped in your life?
NatDawg: Nope. I just assume that it requires you to swing your arms around uncontrollably, right?
Is this jumproping?
foodsweatnbeers: #panting
Jshred: (Some sort of inspiration BS. At this point, I’ve stopped listening.)
foodsweatnbeers: Ab time. Basic crunches. Woo!
EasyA: HEY! Everyone! Come see how good I look!! Do you like my ribs?
foodsweatnbeers: (under my breath) Definitely not.
NatDawg: Some of us are focusing on exercise, not belly baring shirts, Anita.
EasyA: Wait. So you don’t like my ribs?
JShred: Circuit 2! Grab those weights!
foodsweatnbeers: Oooh neat, a row. so glad this isn’t a pushup.
JShred: What I really like is that no one is phoning this in.
foodsweatnbeers: You’re saying it again. #nonsensicalphrases
Jshred: I’d like everyone to look at how tough Natalie is. She goes deep and lunges hard. AIM TO BE @NATDAWG!
foodsweatnbeers: Hey! @NatDawg! I SAW THAT!! BUSTED!
****REAL TALK: Everyone, in circuit two, after Jillian just spends a minute bragging about her prodigy, Natalie, they pan over to Anita. Natalie takes this time to NOT LUNGE! When I saw this, I had a rage blackout.
I WILL SWORD YOU RIGHT IN THE BODY!
NatDawg, you’re just as weak as the rest of us.****
foodsweatnbeers: @EasyA, are you flexing right now?
EasyA: (through gritted teeth) No….. er… my abs always look like this.
foodsweatnbeers: oh. Must be nice.
NatDawg: When I grin like this, do I look like a possessed lunatic?
Demon or workout inspiration? Now you don’t have to choose.
All: No… definitely not. It’s…. cute. #sarcasm
foodsweatnbeers: (mentally) I wonder what kinds of faces Jillian makes when she’s having sex. If they’re anything like this…. #poorsexpartners
You like that? (click for source)
Jshred: Are you thinking and not doing butt kicks?!
foodsweatnbeers: No, ma’am. (Kicks butt, NatDawg style). Oooh, punching! This is kind of like BodyCombat!
JShred: No, no, this is a completely original exercise I made up.
EasyA: Hey! All! It’s Ab-time! Check out these ribs!!
NatDawg: I’m so glad I wore a shirt.
EasyA: I accidentally forgot mine.
foodsweatnbeers: Yeah, right. #accidentally?
JShred: Circuit 3 time! FOCUS!
foodsweatnbeers: I love Chest Flies so much.
JShred: Little do you know what I’ve got in store for you.
foodsweatnbeers: OH MY GOD! Anterior raises will be the end of me…. Tell my mother I love her, I’m pretty sure I’m dying.
It’s been real, Mom.
NatDawg: Sometimes, when I’m taking a nap, I wake up and I’m sleep-side lunging with anterior raises.
foodsweatnbeers: Ok, Natalie, we get it. You’re in shape.
NatDawg: What? Oh, sorry, I was looking at my delts in the mirror.
Yeah.
foodsweatnbeers: NM.
JShred: You guys like jumping jacks, right?
foodsweatnbeers: Oooh! yeah! My calves are craving some further abuse!
EasyA: When I get in a fight, I’ll know how to punch from this video!
NatDawg: If that poor girl ever got in a fight, she’d snap like a twig.
EasyA: Jump ropes are fun!
foodsweatnbeers: #eyeroll
JShred: Bicycle crunches are named that by their inventor, William James Bicycle Esq.
foodsweatnbeers: Do you have a citation for that fact?
JShred: er…. quick! Look at @EasyA’s ribs!
Looking good, Anita! (click for source)
foodsweatnbeers: Ugh, whatever.
At this point, I normally push through those damn bicycle crunches, stretch on my own, and curse Anita for being a silly looking ninny.
Hope you enjoyed joining me for a quality workout. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an exorcism to attend.
I will eat your heart.
foodsweatnbeers:
Food, Sweat, and Beers 
Jordan,
You are hilarious. 🙂
Alexandra – Thank you for the laughter love!
Truth: currently laughing out loud at my cubicle
Truth: I hate jillian Michaels voice but own 3 of her dvds and currently obsessed with shred it with weights
Truth: I have conversations with my “workout friend” too
Haha seriously this is hilarious
After I get the hang of the exercises, I just blast crazy house music during the 20 minutes of chatter. However, since I just switched to L2…. I gotta deal with it.
This is gonna be rough.
I have those kind of conversations with myself all the time when I do workout videos 🙂
Thank goodness no one’s here to listen to me talk back to the ladies.
Haha – I love the pic of that six-pack guy. He’s almost cute but mostly creepy. Yeah – I’m going with creepy.
Not new boyfriend material?
Poor guy… he’ll be crushed.
I. Love. This.
I am so glad we met at HLS and that we are shredding together. 🙂
Absolutely. The buddies that shred together…. stay together.
Oh and yes those anterior raises…those will kill me one day.
They haunt my nightmares.
Seriously love this post. I need EasyA’s abs RIGHT NOW.
I am so curious to see this shred video in action. Heard so much, but need to see it in the flesh.
You literally wrote down everything I think when doing this video! You are hilarious. I’ve been on Level 2 for about 6 weeks now and I’m terrified of moving on because : 1) I am seriously concerned about having a heart attack, and 2) I might break my TV if I see Natalie and Anita smiling those doofy smiles while I’m struggling. Good for you and keep up the shredding!
Haha, I haven’t even looked at L3. Fear inside my soul.
I previewed it a few weeks ago when my motivation (and naivety) was high so I would have an idea of what to expect. Just sitting on the couch watching what was coming made my body hurt. I’m pretty sure Jillian is the devil.
Jordy you are so funny
Thanks (only pronounce it like Connor).
OMG, this was totally awesomeness. 🙂
🙂 !! Thank you the most!
Haha, this was fantastical! I needed a good laugh today! 🙂
Amazing! I have had similar conversations with Jillian and company during the Shred. Loved it!
Bahahaha omg you are too funny :). What a great way to start my morning!
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LOL You have entirely too much free time on your hands.
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Spongebob is the perfect analogy! The 1 thing I remember most about the time I did her DVD is the hip circles…. She made them seem so important so before races the only warmup I usually do are a few spongebob hip circles!
ps phone will not let me put a space between sponge and bob. strange
Bring em arounddddddddddddd townnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
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I know a good therapist.