fitness

Like a Virgin: There’s a First Time for Everything

/ foodsweatandbeers / 16 Comments

February 29th, to me, doesn’t really seem all that exciting. Yes, it’s an “extra” day, but I don’t get off work. There were a few sales but, realistically, there wasn’t too much going on in the world outside of the usual.  So I decided to make it a special one.

I did something I’ve never done before (well, maybe never. I think once I tried in high school, but it wasn’t for me.)

Whoah, get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking about a treadmill run!

My new frenemy?

My silly towel is blocking out the one most crucial number on this treadmill: I ran that mile (just barely) under 10 minutes!  I think the last time I ran a mile was sometime in 2005 (MAYBE 2006, but even that could be a stretch.)  I was out of practice, I wasn’t sure what to do with my arms, and I made sure that I didn’t stop the whole time!

You can see in my GarminConnect summary that my HR peaked during my run (the first 10 minutes of my workout):

Yeah, buddy!

The rest of the workout was a smattering of cardio, exercises featuring use of my body weight (lunges, jump squats, jackknife situps, etc), and a final bout on the treadmill (just to try out the other machine) followed by the last 5 minutes on the stairmaster!  It was kind of nice to mix up the workout, the BodyPump class just looked too packed to deal with and, honestly, after that venture on the treadmill, I just wanted to keep moving, not lifting.

HUGE thanks to my running cheerleader, Sierra, who may have run to NC from South Africa… Either way, she ran into the gym to cheer me on JUST when I was hitting a little wall around 7 minutes.  As I gestured shooting myself in the head when she walked in, she grinned her happy lunchbox grin and I refused to stop, knowing I had a bit of an audience (albeit an audience of one).

Though we normally live across the globe from each other, Sierra’s actually one of my oldest friends from UNC, and my new running guru (one of a few who’s offered to guide me in ‘the ways of the runners’) as she has already steered me in the right direction of the “good treadmill” at the gym.

My first year at UNC was obvious the classiest of all.

I still have a few questions for all you runners out there…

What kind of bottoms do you wear? I think that shorts were not the wisest idea…

What do you do with your arms?

I considered this pose:

MK is NOT my fitspiration! (click if you think mocking Mary Kate Olsen is quality online humor)

But my elbows got too sweaty.

My last question:

HOW do you folks do this every day?!

I’m tempted to take an ice bath…. Luckily, I never turn the heat on in my apartment, so…. problem solved.

Egg in a Bag and BodyAttack

/ foodsweatandbeers / 10 Comments

Ah, that old adage… A failure to plan (for breakfast) is a plan for (breakfast) failure.

While my standard fitbook breakfast entry says “Cereal + Almond Milk” with a smiley face next to it, I came to a crossroads in the middle of the week.  I tilted my cereal box as far as it would go, then, panic on my face, yanked the plastic bag out of the box.

It was as empty as my heart was the moment I realized I was cereal-less in Seattle Durham.

Silly me, I’d forgotten to pick up my usual box of cereal on my last Trader Joe’s trip so, while my almond milk flowed like water, a girl can’t live on milk, alone.  Thus was born my Open Faced Egg Sammy.

I knew I had a few eggs at home, but I like to eat my breakfast at 8:30 am, despite my arrival at work around 8 am (something about a pre-8:30 breakfast doesn’t work in my tummy). And since we don’t have a stove-top in my tiny office, I had to improvise.

Doggie Bag? No, Eggy Bag.

Since all of my tupperware was in use holding goodies like beans, carnitas pork, avocado, etc, this Fresh Market bag was the mode of transportation for a single fried egg.

That’s right, the only thing in that bag is an egg.

My coworkers sort of rolled their eyes, and were probably just glad that I wasn’t wearing a feather boa.

Luckily, my office DOES have a toaster.  And I also brought some spinach, and VOILA!

Topless breakfast!

I used a toasted everything Bagel Thin, some Laughing Cow spread, and spinach, topped the party with my totable egg, and didn’t miss the cereal a single bit.  In fact, it felt a little bit like a special treat on a weekday.  I gotta find more ways to enjoy eggs at work.

Can you microwave cook an egg without any special holder?

Bueller?

In other news, BodyAttack #75 was even MORE intense than last week (I think because I now have an understanding of the moves).

Boom, baby.

56 minutes, 843 calories, and an average HR of 165!!  As you can tell, the end is the ab track and the cooldown track, I don’t just get super lazy around 53 minutes.  I do, however, start to get insanely sweaty at about 16 minutes.

It’s for this reason that I always bring my own, full-sized towel to the gym. Whether or not I shower at the gym, I normally leave looking like someone just poured the post-game Gatorade all over me.  This translates to my signature post-gym outfit.

Always fierce, Always wins spring fling queen

You might be wondering “Is that a fashionable scarf?”

The answer is “No, friend, you need to have your eyes checked out.”  Because I rock the towel scarf every.single.day.

Despite the fact that it’s not a pashmina, I still get noticed by all the major fashionistas in the Triangle area.  Especially the little girl in the grocery store who (not-so-quietly) asks her mom “Why’s that lady wearing a towel in the store?” and points her bony finger at me.

Don’t worry, I didn’t get mad, point back and say “HEY, lady, who’s the tiny curious critter clinging to your pant-legs? WHY’S SHE SO SMALL?” though I may have wanted to…  I simply smiled and said “Well, it gets pretty cold in grocery stores, and I didn’t have a blanket.”  She giggled, and walked away with mommy dearest.

I just hope that, due to my powerful influence on her life, someday she’s toting fried eggs to work and towel-scarves to the store.

I’m basically a role model.

Any sweet in-office egg cooking methods for me to try?

 

Fit with Fitbook: Week 2

/ foodsweatandbeers / 4 Comments

Another week, another dollar.  Only it’s been a week and a day, and I’ve only spent dollars (you know, on important stuff like wine tastings and half-pints of beer). So, in truth, that phrase doesn’t apply, whatsoever.

Another 8 days, no dollars.  BUT I can chalk another week off in my fitbook endeavors.  I’ll be honest, this one wasn’t quite as successful as the first.  Then again, when you have two days where entire daily food entries read “Didn’t eat much other than brie… but there was a lot of brie”, a one pound gain isn’t really worrisome.  In fact it’s somewhat impressive.

I only eat carbs when they're paired with wheels of brie. #healthy

Luckily, the half-pound of soft cow’s cheese that I inhaled over the weekend and the massive quantities of beer and chocolate from Wednesday at Big Boss did not actually translate to the gain that I feared when approaching the scale.  And I’m gonna give a lot of credit to this little guy:

I haven't come up with an official name, but it feels like a fellow

Looking back at my weekly wrap up, here’s a little summary:

  • The Good: Worked out before my glass night on Thursday, avoided my standard fare of pickle chips with my beer buddies, burned 4,140 calories during the week (over a quarter of that was just from Monday’s INSANE workout), and despite a few minor/major bumps on the road, I never fully “gave up” on a day by succumbing to fully eating awful from start to finish
  • The Bad: 2 days where “Brie” was a major food group, skipped dinner on Saturday, missed my workout on Sunday due to kind of feeling sorry for myself (I know rest days are great, but this was just laziness).
  • Notes: Unless I’m like… on an epic vacation, there’s really no need for an entire day of indulgence, it’s nice to treat treats like what they are: special. Meal skipping makes me cranky and hungry and lame. My weekend eats need more structure.
Other updates:
  • This “no soda” thing is really easy now that I’ve stopped, you know, buying soda.  I think it’s one of those “out of sight, out of mind” things.
  • Grapes are nature’s candy.  Seriously. They’ve totally owned my sweet tooth.  Gotta stop at Target to pick up more.

    Grapes should always be eaten out of wine glasses. New life rule.

  • I did my first official “Meatless Monday” last night and it was a SMASHING success!! More on that later.
  • I love the calm post-sweat session where I just sit down in the gym and write up my workout and my daily eats in the fitbook (if you’re interested in getting one, and don’t wanna click through to the last post, here’s a link to the fitbook store!)
  • I forget how amazing wearing a HRM during a workout is. Remind me to never forget that again, thanks.
So yes, abbreviated update:  Weekend spent eating brie by the chunks + overindulgence on Wednesday – two rest days = 1 lb gain
However, I felt so much stronger in BodyCombat and CX30 on Monday, and the moves are getting easier, so I’ll say progress is progress.
UNRELATED: Anyone have a favorite method of cooking 4 lbs of country style ribs/pork butt?  Because when I see it on sale for $6, I can’t resist.  And now I have 4 lbs of meat.  And I live alone. And ate vegetarian last night.
Smooth, Jordan.

 

 

Coconut French Toast and Body Attack 75

/ foodsweatandbeers / 9 Comments

I’m officially a dirtball.  At this very moment, I’m gearing up for today’s BodyJam class.  But here’s the dirty part: I still haven’t showered from last night’s workout.

Oops.

Oh, Les, you know my body so well...

As you can see from my Garmin Connect report, it wasn’t just some easy-peasy workout, either.  I was a sweaty mess, my booty is sore, and I LOVED the new release!  However, at track four, a super plyometric-heavy track, my tummy started going nuts.  And that’s when I knew I had to GET OUTTA THERE! It felt like my body was a soda can about ready to explode.

So I booked it.

Moments later, as I was washing my hands, feeling so much better post-bathroom break, I raced back in to finish the tail end of the arm conditioning track. Walking burpees…. not my friend.

After getting home, whipping up a fantastic, cheesey, melty, eggplanty dinner (Save that for later), I realized that the next time I’d leave the house would be for another workout. So I washed my face, did a little mini-body wipedown, and said “Fuggetaboutit!”

Yup.  Next morning, still no shower.  But, at least there’s coconut french toast on the menu.

The cast and crew

My past experiences cooking with coconut oil have been kind of meh.  I realize now that it’s because I was cooking the wrong treats in that coconut oil. I bucked up, grabbed some coconut shreds, and said “Let’s DO THIS!”

Sizzling in coconutty goodness

When I scrambled together my egg batter, I used 2 EB eggs, pumpkin spice, cinnamon, AND sweetened coconut shreds (though it would’ve been just as tasty sans sweetened, I’m sure).  Also, next time, I think I’ll drop a little bit of almond extract in the mix, just for a flavor punch.

Didn’t matter, the coconut was the star of the show. And cooking in coconut oil WITH coconut shreds… can’t beat it.

A taste of the islands

There was coconuts in the batter, coconut shreds on top, chia seeds sprinkled for a nutritional boost, and LOTS of lite butter flavored syrup (it’s all I have left in the apartment!).  Good to the last bite.

Or, in my case, the last lick. Because I licked my plate clean, not unlike an animal.

At least animals don’t have to shower.

What’s your favorite sweet treat for breakfast?

Ryan’s a pancake man, through and through, but I’m ALL about french toast.  Somehow, though, I’m sure we’ll make it work.

 

Don’t Skimp on the Shrimp (Omelet)

/ foodsweatandbeers / 15 Comments

Ooooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?

OOooh, Heaven is a place on EARTH!

And that place is in my kitchen. Or, I guess, now, my belly.  But first…

CX30 + BodyCombat = WHOAH!

Les Mills, you’ve done it again.  O2 Fitness Clubs launched the newest releases of their infamous Body____ classes and, since Saturday, I’ve tried BodyJam, BodyCombat, and CX30.  Each one was more hardcore than the last.

Yesterday, it was a double whammy. CX30 was up first, followed by BodyCombat.  And I kept the HRM on the whole time.  An hour and a half later, 1,227 calories blasted, and approximately a hand towel’s worth of sweat drenching my body, I felt like a superwoman.  I also felt like I needed to eat a house.  I didn’t, I enjoyed a homemade whole wheat, eggplant, spinach, Parmesan, mozzarella, and Sockarooni pizza (I should’ve shaped it like a house).  And then, with the help of my new favorite app, I slept like a rock.

But today is a new day.  A day that I was craving seafood.  The pickin’s at home were slim, but there was something beautiful in the fridge.  Well, a few somethings beautiful.

Shrimp, avocado, tomato

Come to MAMA!!

Inspired by this Shrimp and Avocado Omelet recipe from Whole Foods, I scrambled the heck out of two eggs, chopped my ingredients, and hoped for the best as the eggs fried in some EVOO.

Sizzling

I have to use up my never-ending supply of spinach, so I added that to the innards of this omelet, along with the (pre-cooked) shrimp (from Target… not exactly the local fishmarket, but it’ll do in a pinch.)

This totally screams “throw me inside some eggs!”

And, after a flip and a fill, followed by a fold, this omelet was ready to be topped with the always-decadent combination of tomato and avocado.

You should want this in and around your mouth

This protein-packed omelet will certainly get me through the rest of the day and, though it was jam-packed with shrimp, I can’t help but feel like I have a seafood itch that needs scratching. And I know just the shellfish to scratch that itch.

Yummmmm

Yummmmm

Oh, Aqua Grill, take me home…

Do you eat seafood? If so, what’s your favorite? ANYTHING I CAN MAKE?!

I don’t think I even tried fish (other than canned tuna) until the past year or so….  Now it’s become one of my favorite ways to eat flavorful AND healthy meals.

Taking the Plunge… Literally.

/ foodsweatandbeers / 18 Comments

I needed a change, fitness-wise. I was getting bored and, as much as I love to Zumba with the best of them, a girl can’t live on Zumba alone. And then, the other night, at Dick’s, I decided what that change would be.

I grabbed about a dozen different sizes of bathing suits (what the FORK is racing suit sizing?! Luckily I found this website to help with bathing suit size conversion). After wiggling, jumping, hopping, and tugging the bathing suit (which I’ll now refer to as a batherbecause that’s my term of choice) into place, losing any and all sex appeal, and ogling my goodies in the mirror, I knew it was the right move. It’s the TYR Women’s Alliance Team T-Splice Maxback Tank Swimsuit Doesn’t that sound badass?

And, since my mom loves me, she treated me to my newest workout gear.

For whatever reason, I already have goggles. They’ve been sitting next to my tower fan for over a year now and, honestly, I just needed a reason to look fiercer than I normally look.

And, when I was at the store looking at swim caps, I thought “Go big, or go home” and grabbed the neon pink latex cap.

Sexy, Can I?

It’s funny, when I was younger (from about 7-13) I was a HARDCORE swimmer. Practicing all my days (summer and winter), a bather was my second skin, and I was so fast at flipping a swim cap on, you’d think I was born to be bald.  But, when I got to a point where the juice wasn’t exactly “worth the squeeze” I transitioned to the “tall girl sports” of basketball and volleyball, leaving the chlorine and swimmer’s ear behind. As I fiddled with my swim cap, wondering how on earth all my hair was going to get in that latex glove, I actually had to give myself a pep talk.

Come on, Jordan. You’ve done this THOUSANDS of times before. Your head can’t be that big, right?

Well, I was correct and after no more than 4 failed attempts at donning the proper head gear, I was ready to do the damn thing.

No, that's not a picture of 10 year old me. That's yesterday.

I headed over to the pool, dove in, and it just felt so right.  I’ve never liked running, so I can’t just “throw on some shoes and run.”  I can, however, throw on a bather and swim.  So I did.

Reunited, and it feels so good.

I swam 40 laps, alternating freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke.  After that, I grabbed a kickboard and did ten laps of kicking (again, either freestyle, breaststroke, or backstroke).  I felt so strong, I was breathing hard, and my total yardage was 1,250.  That’s 510 yards short of a MILE!! And I think that’ll be what I can shoot for, next time.

This is the perfect addition to my workout repertoire.  It’s a full body workout, it’s low impact, AND it lets me live out my Mermaid Woman dreams in a safe and healthy fashion.  Win, win, win, all around.

Have you ever picked up a sport or hobby you left for years?  How’d it go?

 

Freebies, Flights, and Frites

/ foodsweatandbeers / 5 Comments

It’s been a long time, but nothing TOO eventful happened this weekend other than a romantic lovenest weekend with Ryan. Lots of football was watched, zero soda was consumed (yay!!), and snuggling was had.  It was top notch.

However, as of 8:25 a.m. Tuesday morning, I was back in the RDU airport, and back to reality.  It’s okay though, because I had amazing goodies waiting for me in my mailbox.  It may have been the best mail haul I’ve ever had, at least in this apartment.

The good stuff

Free Wings, Free Pizza, AND my new Garmin FR60 HRM!! I know I mentioned before that I changed the batteries on my oldy and was ready to get back into action but, as I was making the change, I realized that the back of the watch was pulling apart from the plate that holds it all together.  It was time to get a new one, and since I already had a ANT stick, I got a great deal on a watch and heart band.  And, though it took me a bit to get the new one set up and figured out (that “bit” was about 10 minutes in the middle of my Zumba class yesterday) it paid off.  Check it out!

Killing it!

Average Heart Rate, 173 bpm and 627 calories burned, and that wasn’t even counting the first few minutes that I couldn’t get the dang thing working…

Also in the mailbox? 6 free wings from Buffalo Wild Wings when they open the new location right down the street, and a free Brixx pizza “just because.”  Seriously, if you like free foods, sign up for EVERYTHING!

On a less free note (but just as delicious), I headed back to Bull City Burger and Brewery (after a successful first visit) with a number of my brothers and sisters from my fraternity to celebrate the 165th anniversary of the founding of St. Anthony Hall.  The menu was just as delicious as I remembered….

Mouthwatering…

Since I’d already had an egg and Morningstar sausage before I left, I just stuck with fries and a beer (if it’s four tiny beers but served on one paddle, it’s still just one beer, right?)

The duck frites were glorious: Skinny, French cut, finished in duck fat with fresh rosemary and Fleur de Sel

For $3 I got a whopping serving and the rosemary totally made them worthy of me gobbling them in a reckless manner *wipes fleur de sel from her face…*

And, for $4, I received a flight of four of BCBB’s own beers!  On my paddle included: Littlen Horny, Clay St. British Style Ale, Snow Hill Winter Warmer, and Youngen Horny Barley Wine (hee hee Youngen Horny… I get it.)

The first three, while tasty, were sort of what I expected. Good, quality beers that were clearly made well and tasted wonderful.

It was the Youngen Horny that really excited me.  It’s their Barley Wine, but it’s not made with any grapes, just grain (sorry, gluten free drinkers!) At 9.5% ABV beer with “fruity fig and caramel aromas”, this beer had by far the best and longest lasting mouthfeel of the bunch. It was smooth and delicious, good to the last drop.  What I really liked about the beer, though, relative to the rest of the BCBB brews, was that it tasted like they’d gone out on a limb and done something a little riskier.  Like they fully committed to a flavor, and just went balls deep (I’m certain that was their exact thought process when brewing…)  They owned the fact that it was a “different” flavored beer, and they took barleywine, to me, to a different level with big and bold taste without being too cloying or overly sweet.  Admittedly, I haven’t enjoyed (or even tried) many barleywines in the past, but I think I’ll approach them with a more open mind in the future.

Ah, my bounty!

Thanks to BCBB for not being annoyed when we brought in a giant late night crew and for having a table big enough for the whole group!!

 

Did You Know that Bees and Dogs Can Smell Fear?

/ foodsweatandbeers / 15 Comments

So, at the end of every year, I hoard my vacation time in hopes for my grown-up version of winter break. And, since I was a grade-A hoarder this year, I’ve successfully collected enough to leave this Friday for over a week!  I’m incredibly excited for a long break without feeling like I’m packing to leave the moment I get settled in a new place.

With that long break looming, though, I have an important task to accomplish.

Daunting, eh?

I’ve gotta eat my way through the remainders of my fridge/freezer. Or at least the perishable foods.  No spinach left behind, and all that good stuff.  Considering the fact that about 40% of my fridge space is taken up by beer, I’m not actually too worried, but there’s still a reasonable amount of eating to do.

Enter the classic “Everything Pizza.” Tonight’s pie was just that, using a base of the tail end of a bag of pre-made whole wheat dough from Harris Teeter. The toppings was where it got really tasty, though:

I popped it in the oven at 425 for about 14-16 minutes, and VOILA!!

Molto bene!!

It was good to the last bite, and fancy-girl cameras always make it look even tastier.  As per, I covered the bad boy with oregano and crushed reds (in essence, probably obliterating any natural flavor from the pizza’s ingredients). Hey, tasty’s tasty, in my book.  I’ve still got a few eggs left, and some spinach to take care of, but it’s nothing a little omelet or two can’t handle.  Needless to say, I’m counting down the seconds to head up to Philly and maybe enjoy some everything bagels and a buffalo chicken cheesesteak (or two).

Since it’s Monday and a segue between pizza and the following subject is too tough, let’s just jump into it: Jonathan Lipnicki.

You might know him better as Ray Boyd from Jerry Maguire.

”]Wasn’t he just the cutest? Well, guess what he’s been doing in the past 15 years?

”]Apparently, sit-ups. And weight lifting. And getting tattoos.

At first, this made me feel old.

Then, I realized I love all those things too. And that Jonathan Lipnicki would probably give me a sexy side-eye if I were at the gym, especially since I’m 3 years older than he is. What child star doesn’t love a successful older woman?

Oh, yeah. (click for source!)

Or older man for you, Chris.  Either way.

Do you have any favorite “clean out the fridge” recipes?

How about any famous child stars ALL GROWN UP?

 

Skinnylicious and Zumba-tritious!

/ foodsweatandbeers / 10 Comments

Hey hey folks, we made it to Wednesday!

Since I’m in the office for lunch, today, no No Pants Wednesday for me today…I enjoyed a few leftover chips and bread from our office holiday party for which, true to fashion, I was the only one that dressed up.

Old habits die hard.

Oh well, I think it was obvious that the holiday spirit was in everyone’s hearts as we ate our way through a MASSIVE catering by the Cheesecake Factory.

I normally steer clear of the giant Factory, known for it’s ENORMOUS portions and frying everything from zucchini to macaroni and cheese.  And I’ll admit, yesterday during lunch, I definitely over-indulged a little bit.  But by choosing a very healthy option from their “Skinnylicious Menu”, I managed to not feel too bloated after enjoying some of the shared appetizers (spinach artichoke dip and Tex Mex egg rolls).

I even had enough for a hearty dinner made of delicious leftovers.  Folks, I present about 2/3 of the Skinnylicious Grilled Salmon and Vegetables!

Skinnylicious!!

I scoped out the Skinnylicious Menu and found a bunch of (reasonably priced) healthier options and small plates that I think will definitely come in handy the next time I head to the Cheesecake Factory.  It was delicious, even reheated, and the (likely less-than healthy) dipping sauce on the side made everything even more tasty, creamy, and flavorful.

As for the Zumba-tritious…. well that’s gotta be the sore, sweaty feeling I felt after a particularly intense Zumba session at the gym!  There were actually 4 Zumba instructors in the class, though only one was the instructor, and, for some reason, I tend to get competitive when I feel like there are skilled folks in my group fitness classes.  Or if there’s a very tall lady, or a pregnant women. I don’t know, it’s a bad habit, but it’s the athlete inside of me and wants to win.

Luckily, since EVERYONE wins when we Zumba, I left feeling great.  I also left thinking about the most recent Zumba classes I’ve taken.  And I think I realized that, even though it’s supposed to be a “Latin dance inspired cardio workout”, I always prefer the songs that are less of a samba and more of a chance to dance like a crazy person.  So, in case you’re looking for a fun (short) dance party playlist, these are my three FAVORITE Zumba songs to dance to!

1. Jai Ho – The Pussycat Dolls

With a sweat-blasting pony step, sexy hip swirls, and Bollywood inspired moves, this song’s beat and tune always get me working harder/better/faster/stronger.

2. Waka Waka – Shakira

This official song of the FIFA World Cup always makes me want to kick a ball into a net, rip off my shirt, and show off my killer bod a la Brandi Chastain.

HECK YES, WE'RE THE WINNERS!

In the video, it’s very apparent that Shakira’s hips don’t lie, and the African chanting lend themselves so well to the lyrics:

You’re on the frontline
Everyone’s watching
You know it’s serious
We’re getting closer
This isnt over

If the little kids jumping all over the place in the video don’t inspire you, clearly you have no soul.

3.  Country Girl (Shake it for Me) – Luke Bryan

I think my family would disown me if they knew just how much I love country music. Clearly, my parents should’ve never let me go to school in North Carolina (oh, and falling for a Mississippi boy… I’m a walking cliche).

This song makes me wanna sweat the heck out of my achey brakey heart, eat some fried catfish, and grab some boots.

Mostly, I just look good in a cowboy hat.

What’s your favorite song to Zumba to?

Or, if you don’t Zumba, what’s your favorite song to workout to? That one tune that makes you push harder than anything else?

The Grossest Parts of a Healthy Lifestyle

/ foodsweatandbeers / 16 Comments

**HEADS UP!! This post talks about some gross stuff like bodily functions and fluids. If you’re not into that, go look at this video about Catvertising**

Hey there folks!!

I know I’ve been a bit of a jet setter lately. In fact, I just formally received my A-List Status from Southwest Airlines thanks, in part, to my glorious Chicago trip this weekend!  All that flying can really wear a girl out, though, so I took Monday off from the gym.

Yesterday, I decided to go back and MAN, I was feeling it!  It was sweaty, it was hot (I think NC got up to 77 degrees last night!) and it just felt great.  It got me to thinking a bit, though, about all that goes into this whole “Healthy Living” stuff.  And as much as I wish I could live off cocktails, oysters, and rich scallops every day, the fact of the matter is that I made a conscious decision to live better, be healthier, and that’s what I’ll do (despite the temporary setbacks).  While it’s helped me lose weight and feel awesome, it’s not all glitz and glamor, though. In fact, there are some aspects of “Healthy Living” that are just plain gross.  So I’ve decided to share with you all

The Top 5 Grossest Parts of a Healthy Lifestyle (at least for me)

1. Realization

Afternoon Snack? Why not?

I’ll admit, my former eating habits never felt exactly “healthy” but, most of the time, I just didn’t even think about it.  When you decide to make a change to eating better, though, you have to take stock of what you are eating.  And that initial “stock taking”… to begin with, that’s already pretty gross.

Splitting a large pepperoni pizza used to be the norm. Not a homemade one, either. A greasy, cheesy gooey delivery pizza which left me lazy as a loaf.  The chemicals, the preservatives, the sheer volume of calories and fat that I was putting in my mouth… No wonder I spent the first year after college basically shutting down my body.  In the winter, I hibernated. I was like a chubby bear. The realization of what you put in your body before you decided to take control…. gross, shocking and gross.

2. Fun With Fiber

Sweet Beany Goodness

When I first started Weight Watchers, there was a focus on fiber content in food. It actually went into the equation to figure out the point value of foods. And man, I was all about it. Fiber One cereal, black beans galore, the occasional Metamucil, bran, oats, why not?

Well, as I’m sure some of you are PAINFULLY aware, there’s a song about what happens:

Beans, beans, the magical fruit… the more you eat, the more you poot! (or toot)

Fiber makes you poot. And also, it makes you poop.

There’s no better way to put it. And when my old diet used to consist of carbs on carbs on cheese on carbs, pooping wasn’t exactly something I thought about all the time.

Fiber leads to pooping. And sometimes, that’s gross. Overdo it on fiber, and you may overdo it on pooping. Or at least pooting. And I’m not a doctor or anything, so I don’t have fancy words to say it better than that. Try to find the balance that’s right for you and you can avoid being that stinky (healthy!) person that no one wants to hang out with for fear you’d trample over them on the way to the bathroom.

3. Texture Trouble

Oh yes, they’re oats. (Click on link for Vegan Homemade’s post)

No offense to anyone who loves them, but overnight oats look gross. Chia pudding looks gross.  The texture in some of these healthy foods…. is gross.  Cottage cheese, riced cauliflower, I looked through my photos to see if I had a picture of these from my own files.

I didn’t.

Because they look gross.

The texture of these foods may not be incredibly appealing. That being said, their texture does nothing to detract from their tastiness (though I’m still holding out on cottage cheese). But man, the texture… it took me a while to get over it. Blech.  Oh well.

4. Asparagus Pee

Since I’ve already written about how frequently you pee when you guzzle water like it’s going out of style (as well as some ways to keep yourself busy in the bathroom!), I figured I should focus on another pee-related topic.

Asparagus pee!

I love asparagus.Asparagus is great for detoxifying, it reduces pain and inflammation, can reduce the risk of heart disease, and is just plain good for you.

I love the flavor, I love it roasted, I love it sauteed, I love it steamed, I’ve even had it fried and loved the HECK out of it.  But no matter how you prepare it, the next time you pee, it’s stinky.  It’s a fact of life.  Put asparagus in, get stinky pee out.  Basic math, really.

At the end of the day, though, the benefits of asparagus far outweigh the bummer of asparagus pee.  And really, it’s nothing a quick flush can’t fix.

5. Sweat, baby, sweat, baby!

Drenched

It wasn’t until I started working out REALLY hard that I realized it.

You sweat everywhere!

This is not ground-shaking, mind-boggling news. It’s just that I didn’t really think about it before.  I’ve been to fitness classes where I’m pretty sure my ears have sweat coming from the lobes. For me, the most drenched area (and thus, the stem of my love for capris) is the shin region. I don’t know why, but my shins just pour perspiration. No amount of antiperspirant will prevent me from “pitting out, ” so why bother?  As long as you’re not stinky (does asparagus make your sweat smell , too?) it’s just part of being a human. But group classes and killer workouts have definitely made laundry day come around much more frequently in my household.  An easy price to pay for a fitter future, but gross, nonetheless.

Since I’m not a runner, I’ve never had to deal with bladder control during a race BUT let’s just say that, if peeing your pants is cool, consider Lauren Miles Davis (that’s definitely HER story to share!)

Do you have any particularly gross aspects of your own healthy lifestyle that you’ve learned to embrace?